In this deeply personal episode, Kate opens up about motherhood as a quadriplegic woman — from a miscarriage that reframed her entire relationship with her body, to a grueling pregnancy that left her feeling like her body had been "invaded," to a harrowing birth story involving autonomic dysreflexia, aspiration pneumonia, and a 14-day NICU stay. Along the way, Kelsey shares her own story of abortion, the grief of losing her brother Nathan, and the complicated truth of always wanting to be a mom but likely never having kids. Together they explore how pleasure extends far beyond sex — into rest, boundaries, safety, and the sacred, messy work of raising empathetic humans in a patriarchal world. It's a raw conversation about loss, resilience, the village it takes to mother in a disabled body, and the childlike wonder our kids return to us. ⚠️Content Warning: This episode discusses miscarriage, abortion, childbirth complications, and the loss of a loved one. Please take care while listening, and feel free to skip this one if now isn't the right time for you
Episode Description
In this deeply personal episode, Kate opens up about motherhood as a quadriplegic woman — from a miscarriage that reframed her entire relationship with her body, to a grueling pregnancy that left her feeling like her body was no longer her own. She shares her harrowing birth story involving autonomic dysreflexia, aspiration pneumonia, and a 14-day NICU stay. Along the way, Kelsey shares her own story of abortion, the grief of losing her brother Nathan, and the complicated truth of always wanting to be a mom but likely never having kids. Together they explore how pleasure extends far beyond sex — into rest, boundaries, safety, and the sacred, messy work of raising empathetic humans in a patriarchal world. It's a raw conversation about loss, resilience, the village it takes to mother in a disabled body, and the childlike wonder our kids return to us.
⚠️Content Warning (See Resources & Support after the Timestamps)
This episode includes personal conversations about miscarriage, high-risk pregnancy, abortion, childbirth complications, grief, and the loss of a loved one. Some of these stories may be tender or difficult to hear. Please take care of yourself while listening. You’re welcome to pause, skip, or return to this conversation whenever it feels right for you.
The experiences shared in this episode are personal and are not intended to replace medical, mental health, or professional advice. If you’re navigating a pregnancy complication, reproductive loss, or emotional distress, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare or mental health professional.
Timestamps
(0:00) — Cold Open: Childlike Wonder & Imagination
(1:41) — Welcome Back - Diving Into Kate’s Motherhood Journey
(3:17) — Being Pregnant as a Quadriplegic: Where to Start
(4:42) — Pregnancy in a Paralyzed body = Hard
(6:50) — Navigating Partner Problems, Paralysis & Pregnancy
(8:41) — "My Body Was No Longer Mine"
(11:35) — From My Survival to His
(14:19) — Kelsey's Grief: Losing Brother Nathan
(19:54) — Loving Deeper Because of Loss
(23:20) — Pleasure & Exquisite Pain After Grief
(25:11) — Miscarriage: The Loss That's Minimized
(26:20) — Different Paths to Motherhood
(27:55) — Kelsey's Abortion Story
(31:23) — The Worry That Never Stops
(33:50) — Birth Story: Autonomic Dysreflexia vs. Labor
(36:30) — 27 Hours Without Her Baby & the NICU experience
(41:18) — The Physical Toll, Mom Guilt & the Baclofen Dilemma
(44:00) — Redefining Pleasure: It's Not Just About Sex
(47:42) — Finding Your Way Back: Rest, Boundaries & Safety
(52:21) — It Takes a Village - Compound Dreams
(54:30) — Raising Boys as a Disabled Woman
(55:46) — Divine Feminine & the Elevated Masculine
(58:00) — Kids Who Grow Up Around Disability
(1:01:28) — Reclaiming Childlike Wonder & Play
(1:03:25) — Closing & Outro
Resources & Support
- National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: Free, confidential, 24/7 support. Call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262).
- All-Options Talkline: Judgment-free peer support for pregnancy, abortion, adoption, parenting, infertility, and pregnancy loss. 1-888-493-0092.
- Miscarriage + Abortion Hotline: Confidential medical information and support from experienced doctors and nurses. Call or text 1-833-246-2632.
- Postpartum Support International: Support and referrals for perinatal mental health concerns.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for immediate crisis support in the U.S.
You do not have to navigate these experiences alone.
Episode Resources-
The Afterlife of Billy Fingers: https://www.afterlifeofbillyfingers.com/